Xinxin's ashes are coming home today.It has been very sad to think about it. I couldn't focus on any thing the whole day yesterday.Well, I wasn't really doing anything actually, but I just don't know what to do. I was looking for things the whole day because I didn't remember where I put everything. The brain has stopped working.
It has been 7 months since Xinxin's passing, but it seems to be yesterday to me. Everything I can recall clearly, her weak face, her voice and her words...... I cried and cried.... My husband also came back home earlier. He just sat beside me and no words between us during dinner time. It's going to be a hard day for both of us......
August 10th, 2009 Monday
I am going to stop looking for a job, because I don't speak Cantonese at all.And I only want to be a teacher,because I don't know other things except teaching.I had four interviews.All are teaching positions. All the bosses are quite shocked that I don't speak Cantonese.Because people who speak good Mandarin like me usually come from mainland China and married to a HK citizen. Those who married to HK can only come to HK after at least five years marriage. And people in HK usually don't speak Mandarin.After five years' marriage, the wives usually can manage Cantonese.
During the interviews, the boss all asked me if I had a kid. When the first boss asked, I answered I had one daughter, but she passed away. Then she answered :" I don't care about your daughter's passing" I guess she meant I didn't mind. In Chinese the two words " mind" and "care" have the same explanation. Anyway she was mad with me because I talked with her India teacher while waiting for her to interview me. She told me not to talk to anyone except to the boss , because that India teacher was resigned by her already. Well I asked her what I should say when people talk to me. -you should ask them " who are you? are you the boss?"
The second interview, the boss was sorry to hear my daughter's passing.He wanted me to teach Mandarin. English and Maths. Well, I was very good at maths when I was in school and Maths is my favourite and best subject. But I have never taught maths.And more importantly, I can't speak the language.
For the last two interviews, I just told them that I don' t have a baby at the moment to make it easier. Probably they just want to know if I have to take care of the baby at home, then won't focus on the job. And these two jobs turn into part time jobs as the English Grammar teacher when they realized that I couldn't speak Cantonese after meeting me.
And I actually had another interview, but my husband asked me not to go as it is quite far from home and they emailed me o tell me the time and place for interview, but without the name of the company.
So I still have no jobs and probably won't find one. I feel like giving up.
During the interviews, the boss all asked me if I had a kid. When the first boss asked, I answered I had one daughter, but she passed away. Then she answered :" I don't care about your daughter's passing" I guess she meant I didn't mind. In Chinese the two words " mind" and "care" have the same explanation. Anyway she was mad with me because I talked with her India teacher while waiting for her to interview me. She told me not to talk to anyone except to the boss , because that India teacher was resigned by her already. Well I asked her what I should say when people talk to me. -you should ask them " who are you? are you the boss?"
The second interview, the boss was sorry to hear my daughter's passing.He wanted me to teach Mandarin. English and Maths. Well, I was very good at maths when I was in school and Maths is my favourite and best subject. But I have never taught maths.And more importantly, I can't speak the language.
For the last two interviews, I just told them that I don' t have a baby at the moment to make it easier. Probably they just want to know if I have to take care of the baby at home, then won't focus on the job. And these two jobs turn into part time jobs as the English Grammar teacher when they realized that I couldn't speak Cantonese after meeting me.
And I actually had another interview, but my husband asked me not to go as it is quite far from home and they emailed me o tell me the time and place for interview, but without the name of the company.
So I still have no jobs and probably won't find one. I feel like giving up.
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