August 31th, 2008

Xinxin is still doing very well.Her appetite is still very good. She tried the fish sent by my friend-Chen Qian and she can tolerate it.So far so good.Praise the Lord.We are very happy about it, it means that she have one more thing to eat.

We got a present from my friend,Nancy and Joe in the USA. I know them before Xinxin's birth. And Xinxin's first stuff toy-Monkey were sent by them when Xinxin was born. And now Xinxin's favorite monkey-George, was also send by them before we came to Singapore which is her only toy I brought to Singapore.This time they sent her an Elephant and some book about the monkey-Goerge. They had sent xinxin different books of George before xinxin's sickness.So Xinxin had a good time with the toy and the books the whole day.

As for the next round of Chemo, I think tomorrow her count should be good enough to start unless God doesn't want her to try one more round.It's really hard to make the decision now. Even though I insist to let her do the Chemo, I also feel very scared when only think about it. Last round Xinxin stayed in HHK for three weeks, she kept vomitting for two weeks.

Last night,before Xinxin went to sleep, she asked me to pray with her. Her prayer is like this:Wish my Monday Chemo will finish fast and I can go home early and no fever. My heart was almost broken, but I never cry. What a good girl, she doesn't want to do the Chemo, but she obeys what she should do. So I believe God gives her strength and asks her to tell us that she is going to be fine.When I shared this with my husband today, he felt very sad.And I guess we have to listen to God's guidance which is always the best.

Please continue to pray for the god's guidance of our next step.Thank you very much.

August 30th,2008 Saturday

Xinxin still had great appetite today.In the morning,she read some story books at home.She likes reading a lot now. When she was younger, she only asked me to tell her the story. Now she want me to point the words and read them to her.In the afternoon,my friend Jin Yuan, Xiu Zhen and her two girls come to my home to do the lanterns with Xinxin.We all had a great time. God just send us so many friends to encourage us and prove his power again and again.

I also want to show my appreciate to my friend-Chen Qian and her family.If you read our Chinese Blog, you sure know her.She is helping us in many ways from the very beginning till now.Today she sent us some fresh fish to let Xinxin try. Actually she kept sending us a lot in the past few months, but because of xinxin's diarrhea, we never let her try. Tomorrow I will let her try and please pray no diarrhea.

Xinxin's next Chemo will start next Monday. But my husband doesn't want to let her do it.He wants to wait for Xinxin's IC of HK approval which may be known next week. We submit the forms on August 6th, and it takes about 4-6 weeks time, so the earliest time will be next Tuesday--Sep.2nd. It's really hard to make the decision now. Because it's only maybe... and Xinxin can not stop Chemo for too long. We are trying to let our doctors to make decision, but God is the best one for us.Please pray for God's guidance of Xinxin's next Chemo.Thank you a lot.

August 29th, 2008 Friday

Praise the Lord!Today Xinxin is still doing great.She has great appetite and kept eating.In the morning, my friend,Emily brings us to Peirce Reservoir with her son who is fully recover and goes to school now. We had a good time there.
Shu Qing (Emily's friend,she is praying for Xinxin every day,) passed Xinxin many winter clothes. All these clothes are for Xinxin to wear in HK,They are just the right size for her to wear from now till next year.Xinxin is quite small for her age now.My husband also bought her a few, but none is suitable.So God sent the right people to send us the right things.
Here I want to thank Emily and Shu Qing(her name is almost the same as Xinxi's name-Shu Qin)for their kind help.
I also want to thank my friend-Yanqiong.She messages all her friends(including me) every night before 9 o'clock to remind us to pray for Xinxin at nine O'clock and gives us a lot of support.

Thank you for praying and please continue to pray for Xinxin.
Wish everybody a good weekend.

Xinxin with her new pillow

August 28th, 2008 Thursday

The weather is very good in Singapore now.Everyday it rains and it's very cool which reminds me of the autumn in China.
Xinxin is still doing great and having great appetite.Today the whole day she is doing coloring and painting at home.After dinner, we went to Yishun Pond for a while.

Last night,we got a package from my friend Anne. She knows Xinxinn's situation last month.She sent her a pillow made by herself. On the pillow there are two photos of my family which I had sent to her before Xinxin's sickness.I was so touched to have it.The photos were taken in China. I can only find one now in the computer. Xinxin brings us a lot of good times and she is going to bring many many more.
Please continue to pray us more. Thank you.

August 27th,2008 Wednesday

Praise the Lord.Today Xinxin is still doing very well.Her appetite is still very good, besides six times noodle and porridge, she had half an banana(She could finish one, but I asked to have only half),half an potato, one egg and two quail eggs.She kept asking for food. I have to control her.

In the morning, she played games and did some maths. She is really good at maths. She knows plus and minus.The daddy is proud of her. The afternoon, she did some puzzle games at home. She is not good at puzzles because we seldom practice it. After dinner, we went to Yinshun Park again to have some fresh air. Before we went home, she already complained very hungry.
Thank you very much for your praying and please continue to pray for her.

August 26th,2008 Tuesday

Praise the Lord, Xinxin's diarrhea is under control and she can tolerate more things like sweet potato and a little bit of egg. We are so happy to see she can tolerate egg, because her protein is already lower than the bottom line.Let's just pray more for her.
Xinxin stayed at home the whole morning playing computer Game, and had a long Nap in the afternoon. Then we went to YISHUN Park. She is doing Art and Craft with the daddy now.

Tonight she won't sleep early.My husband told me:the more you believe in god the more disappoint you will get.He kept asking me to stop writing Blog any more. He is afraid I will be laughed at in the end.But I know God is not going to let me down.I will stand firm in my faith. Because everytime when Xinxin is feeling better she would tell me"Praise the Lord and thank him". Xinxin is really very special, she told me twice that Jesus came to tell her that she is going to be fine.And I believe that He has already healed Xinxin.
I admit at the very beginning when my friends ask me to come to Him. I told them I ONLY BELIEVE IN HIM IF XINXIN ARE HEALED. But the more I know I about him, the stronger my faith in God is..And I admit I have been through very difficult times of suffering (nothing is worse for parents to see the child surfers so much) in my life. But I want to thank God to hold my hands to teach me many great lessons.I want to thank God for sending so many friends come to me to help us and walk with us.For me I can not name them all, but God chooses all these good people to prove his power.
Thank you all and please continue to pray for us.

August 25,2008 MondayI

Iwish everybody a good week ahead.Today my friend,Emily, drove us to KKH although her home is in the East.It's quite a distance to drive form her home to my home and then to KKH.We just feel bad about it, but she insisted to help us. Isn't she nice?

And xinxin had her blood checked. The blood count is not good enough for the Chemo.We will go to KKH next Monday(Sep 1st) again. So everyone is so happy because xinxin can rest one more week. I believe this is God's will-to build up xinxin some more. She can only tolerate plain porridge and noodles. Today she drank some cooked apple water, so far so good.She looks very skinny.

Yesterday,Hanhui came to pray for xinxin. It's only one month from last time she saw xinxin. She told us Xinxin looks smaller.Yes, that's our worries also. Please pray that xinxin can tolerate more things.

Xinxin did the Art and Craft with the grandfather at home today.

My CCF social worker is still on leave until the end of this month.Maybe next Monday I can meet her.Please continue to pray for Xinxin. Thank you very much.

Tomorrow we will go back to KKH

Tomorrow we will go back to KKH
Actually we planned to bring Xinxin to a pond today. But when she wakes up, her diarrhea seems to be worse and she is not having a good appetite.And we have a lot of things needs washing.So my husband decided to keep xinxin at home though xinxin was quite sad. But xinxin and the daddy had a good time for Art and Craft.Can you figure out what the things in Xinxin's hand are going to be like? Hopefully I will know the result soon. They planned to make a house first, but they changed the idea when they found they couldn't. They did it all by their imagination with plain paper.Tomorrow we will go to KKH for the next round of Chemo. Please continue to pray for Xinxin.

The following message is from my freind Anne who I know them when I was in the university almost tem years ago. She only knew xinxin's situation when she emailed me last month.

I have booked marked Xinxin's blog on my computer so that I can access it easily each day. I am always praying for you, Xinxin, and your husband. I believe it is a testament to how dearly Shu Yuan loves his daughter that he is so angry with God right now. Please don't stress about this. God understands, loves Shu Yuan, and is waiting patiently for him to accept His love and support. With God, we can survive Life's biggest difficulties; without Him, nothing else matters. Shu Yuan is blessed to have you, Joy.
Thank you for allowing me to be your friend. Here is something I read today (author is unknown): "A friend will strengthen you with her prayers, bless you with her love, and encourage you with her hope." I am your friend, and I hope I can be all these things for you.
Someday, when things are better and you have more time, I hope you will share with me more about your journey to Christ. As I recall, when Katie and I were in China, you were still skeptical and not yet a believer, so I am very, very glad to know that someone shared the Good News with you in a way that made God's love known to you.Take care, dear Joy. Know that I love you and care about you and your family. God is blessing you now.
Love,Anne :-)

Frankly speaking, I would never believe in God if Xinxin was not sick. We were taught:THERE IS NO GOD IN THE WORLD when we were young at school. The people around me seemed nobody believe in God. Only one person I know that believe in God because something is abnormal to her. So I was normal, why do I need God's help? why do I waste my time to believe in somebody I have never seen.I am sorry when I mention all these.

As I have written yesterday, when xinxin's first appointment in K clinic KKH, two pastor came to talk to me and passed me one English Bible( this is the second one I have, Anne passed me one nine years ago) I started to read a little bit. Later I got my first Chinese Bible from Emily, then my second Chinese one from Christina and Tricia.All these good books brings me nearer to Him

My friends Liu Jun,Yanqiong and some other friends came to my home to pray for Xinxin almost every weekend. They told me ONLY GOD CAN HEAL HER. I accept God and want God to heal xinxin. So I started to pray for xinxin at home every day and started to know more about God. And I recalled the way I walked, I can feel the love of God and the peace in my heart. How nice it is to know God. So I should thank you all my friends who pray for us at home, in the hospital and provide help and more importantly for letting me know God.The more I know him, the happier I feel.Thank you so much my friends . You are the one to make me to know Him.Because I saw the way you are doing is so good for me to learn.
Thanks a lot.

Happy birthday To Xinxin

On Xinxin's birthday certificate,her birthday is August 23th,2004. But she was born in Oct. Because I know in China, if a child's birthday is after Sep.1st, he has to go to school one year later than those who were born before Sep 1st the same year. So when xinxin was born, I chose the Chinese lunar date for her birthday because I wanted her to go to school one year earlier.
Two days ago, xinxin received a birthday card from CCF. yesterday I also got a message mentioned about xinxin's birthday from a friend. To my surprise, in the morning,Emily's husband came to pass me a book and some presents for Xinxin. Of course Xinxin had a good time opening the gifts and was quite excited.So she enjoyed quite a lot.

Let me talk about my Friend-Emily. Her son was diagnosed to have cancer the same date as Xinxin. On Dec.8,2007, when I was waiting outside the CT room for xinxin. Emily was aslo waiting for her son. This was the first time we met. After that, I kept meeting them in KKH.Xinxin's first round of Chemo,xinxin's first time appointment in K clinc, We all met Emily and her son.At that time, I am free thinker.But when Emily and I were waiting to see the docotor in K clinic, a pastor came to talk to me. And from that day on, Emily knows I also need Him--God. She passed me one Chinese Bible and then put xinxin into her prayers and share our situation with her friends when she saw Xinxin was in the newspaper. From her, I know a lot friends like,Chongho,Bee, Christina, Tricia and a lot of friends who are praying for Xinxin everyday. I want to say thank you to all these friends and thank God for guiding all these people to support us.

Please continue to pray for Xinxin. Thank you.

Xinxin in the Zoo again

She is so happy to be in the zoo again after one year.

In the Zoo

Praise the Lord, we had great weather to the zoo today.Xinxin wake up every early today because we planned to go to the zoo today. But after her breakfast, it started to rain. Xinxin was very sad and kept asking when the rain would stop.Then we waited until she finished her second bowl of porridge,the sun came up. She was so happy. And my mother prepared some food for us.We had a great time in the zoo. We missed some animals because xinxin was hungry, but we saw her favorite Elephant Show. She is still very scared to feed the elephants.And we had a good time at the monkeys. Xinxin was born at the year of Monkey, and maybe that's the reason she loves Monkey a lot. It's really worth for her age to go to the zoo,because now she really sees them and ask questions like:“why the backside of the monkey is pink”.HA HA...

Finally, my husband agrees to let xinxin check the blood count next Monday (wait for the God's guidance).So any result we will be happy to accept it. For the our application to HK, the result will be out in the early Sep. And we also will wait for her blood result. I think we will either go to HK in the early Sep( if her blood counts are not good enough)or in the late Sep( if her count are good enough for next round of Chemo next Monday).Because the doctors want her count to be good enough to fly to HK.So we just need to be patient and listen to the God's idea and obey it.
Please continue to pray for Xinxin.Thank you very much.

Grasp every minutes to learn and to enjoy life.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Today Xinxin is also doing very great. Because she can only tolerate plain porridge, so she feels hungry very frequently, Every two hours, we have to feed her. The morning she wrote English letters for a while. Only recently, she can write by herself. She used to only trace the dots. I asked her to try to write by herself. But she found reasons to refuse. After her sickness, I usually don't want to force her to study. If she has interests, she just does something she likes. It seems she likes English and coloring a lot. Numbers(Maths) is also her favorite.In the afternoon, she did some coloring of PANDAS. She knows a lot of animals but doesn't know Panda. So she and I searched the pictures of panda, and I asked her to remember which parts are black,and then I drew some pandas in a piece of paper and ask her to color the black parts. She loves it a lot. Hope one day she can grow up and see the panda in China.

There is a pond near where we live. we went there this afternoon to take some water for our gold fish at home.Xinxin loves to see the grandfather changing the water for the fish and she likes to feed them..

For the next round of Chemo, I am still do not know what to do because my husband is strongly against the chemo. He wanted xinxin to rest for one month. And my idea is to follow the doctor's advice. But my husband said after I believe in God, I seemed crazy, and don't want to show love to xinxin. Sometimes it's really hard to talk with him. Last night's talk ended with argument for no result.I was very sad, and went to read one book my friend passed to me which is about a pastor's walk with God through cancer.When I continue to read, one sentence appeared to my eyes:
I consider that our present sufferings are not Worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.I felt much peaceful,thank you, Lord, for loving me and showing me your care everywhere.
So let's just pray for the God's guidance. Thank you.
Usually xinxin sleeps around 8 o'clock. We planned to go to Northpoint to buy some clothes for her since it will be cold in HK. But last night,xinxin was very excited,she didn't sleep until midnight.So I patted her for a long time,but she just kept talking to me. When I was talking about next round of Chemo to her( I usually will let her know earlier of her appointment, so she will get prepared also), my husband asked me if I really want her to do the chemo next Monday. Do I really want her to do Chemo? I dare not recall the hard time she had for the past two weeks.I swear no parents want their child to go through that. But do I really have a choice? So I just told my husband we would see her blood counts next week first. Now her counts is good enough because of GCSF(the shot to boost the counts up). Xinxin just told me:"let's pray, we must pray hard". Yes, we should pray for God's decision. So everything is on God's hand, whether she can do or not, I will be happy for the choice of God.Xinxin is the reminder of god.

Xinxin is doing great today.She got up very early(sleeps late and gets up early)-before the grandparents came back for the market. So I have to cook porridge for her. Waiting for her breakfast, I read two story books for her,because the daddy was pretending to sleep. After breakfast, she did the drawing with her grandfather. While I was having my breakfast, she had a few more spoons of porridge with a piece of bread. Then we went Yishun Park again. She had a good time today in the park. How Nice it is to for us to live so near to Yishun Park. The whole afternoon, she was busy with drawing and coloring in the computer.Now she is really good at using the mouse. After dinner, she is very tired, and now is already in her dreams.
Please continue to pray for her, thank you very much.

Xinxin came back home yesterday

Xinxin came back last night at eight o'clock because she vomited once and complained tummy pain, so the doctors just keep her a while to observe. She has great appetite, but she is still having very watery diarrhea, so she can only have plain porridge. But she is excited to do everything at home. The whole morning, she was drawing and writing letters and numbers at home because it rained a little bit outside. In the afternoon, we went to YISHUN PARK to have some fresh air. It's great to stay at home.

Shu Qin's update-- 17th August, 2008

Dear Friends,
Thanks for praying. Xinxin is still doing great. Today she doen't have any antibiotics and only have TPN.She is eating very well.
The whole day she ate 6 bowls of plain porridge. Today two friends came to see her and told us that xinxin looks very peaceful and cheerful. She waved to the friends to say hi from the window even though she still feels a little bit tired. She is still on the bed the whole day.

The only problem is that she looks very swollen--maybe too much water in her body can not pass out. But the doctor insisted that she is normal. No, she is not. I know my daughter, she suddenly gain 2.1kg within 4 days, it's abnormal. The nurse made a mistake--her lipid finished within 3 hours which should be in 24 hours. Let's just pray for Xinxin.

For her next round of Chemo, we still haven't make agreement. I will just ask Dr.Chan tomorrow.
Please continue to pray for Xinxin.
Wish a good week ahead of you all.
Thank you very much.