Jan 10th,2010 Sunday

We are back to Singapore. Everything is familiar and also new. We know the ways very well, but we saw new faces around us(some Young kids get taller and bigger)

Xinxin passed away one year ago,but it seems yesterday. Time doesn't make our pain any less. We miss her so much and the pain of lost a child is beyond any body's imagination. We understand the fact she is not here, but we can't control our feelings. During the whole year, we struggled every single day. Sometimes we still questioned ourselves whys without answers except sadness.

I got the following letter early this morning. It's very thoughtful of my friend Emily to remind us that Xinxin is in a better place and in better hands, and it is also very nice of her to encourage us as she does always.

Dear Joy,
God knows your pain and burden especially on this day as we remember Xin Xin. Even though she might have left us in great pain and suffering, but she is now happy, healthy and safe with God in heaven. It is a better place than Earth and soon, we will join her there! Pray to God to release your guilt. Remember when Jesus die, he went through great pain and suffering too. Think of Xin Xin, think of the good times. I can still remember her voice as she spoke when she was in my car. Although the time is short, we enjoyed spending time with her and your family.

Cast your burden onto Lord! He knows your pain and suffering as He had felt the same when he see Jesus being tortured and suffered in the hands of man.

Dear Lord, our heavenly father, we thank you for this day. We thank you that Xin Xin is now with you. Although we miss her dearly, we know she is in your good hands, smiling and playing happily with your children, with no more pains and suffering due to illness. God, please lift away our burden, guilt and deep sorrow that we are still having everytime we think of Xin Xin. You know our pain, please ease them. Give us peace and the courage to remember Xin Xin in her most beautiful moments. God, please continue to watch over your little girl until we meet again in heaven. Guide us as we are back in Singapore to start a new life together. God has mercy and let us learn to trust in your guidance and divine plan. We know you only have the best plans for us. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.