I planned to bring my husband to the park Xinxin and I used to play, which is only five minutes' walk,and my husband never had a chance to go with us. But we came to the sports ground instead.It was a very nice place for exercise, but my minds is with Xinxin. I was asking why this big world cannot allow a tiny tiny place for my daughter.
I really want to know how is Xinxin now.One friend told me that she is in a better place.I also told my parents that she is taken good care by God now. But deep in my mind, I can not really let go at all.
Who wants to die?No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. Everyone knows that heaven is a better place, but why do we still love to live here? Why do my kid only have a few years here?
And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. The only question us why MY kid must suffer all the pains most adults never experienced?
I talked to Xinxin a few times about death before her passing.Every time, she listened to me quietly and asked me a few questions like: will I get food there? But does she really understand what death meant?I don't know, maybe she knows, maybe not. I was so afraid that she would asked me to go with her together,because she asks me to stay with her every minute in her last few months.But she never asked me to go with her.
The last time talking about death was on the day before her last day, I ask crying because I knew I couldn't keep her here for long any more,Xinxin tried to hold my hands, but she was too weak to reach,but she told me clearly the most touchingly sentence:Mommy, don't worry about me.
I have promised her, but I really cannot make it. Xinxin asked me not to lie to her...
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Oct.6th 2004--Jan.10th 2009
XinXin
Pray for Xinxin
Welcome to Shu Qin (pet name as Xinxin)'s web page. It has been provided to keep friends updated about Xinxin's progress as she battled stage 4 Neuroblastoma.
She was diagnosed on December 8th, 2007 in KK Women's and Children's hospital,Singapore. She had four rounds of Opec and Ojec Chemotherapy. And she had a twelve-hour surgery on April 2nd 2008. Then she had four rounds of N7 protocol since the biopsy of the tumor showed little response. She did two rounds of strong chemo( cyclophospha and topetecan)But the bone marrow trephine was still positive.
We came to Queen Mary Hospital Hong Kong on Oct2nd,2008 for further treatment. Xinxin had 2 cycle of chemotherapy (gemcitabine and oxaliplatin) and one round of 3F8.
Her disease had spread, very rapidly, to her pancreas and everywhere.
Xinxin passed away at 3pm on Jan 10th,2009(Saturday).Her last word is that DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
We miss Xinxin a lot but we won't worry about her anymore as she is living happily in God's arms.
As her parents we want to thank God for holding our hands walking with us and for giving us such a good gift that we learned a lot from and thank all the friends who are helping us. Thank you all for being our friends.
She was diagnosed on December 8th, 2007 in KK Women's and Children's hospital,Singapore. She had four rounds of Opec and Ojec Chemotherapy. And she had a twelve-hour surgery on April 2nd 2008. Then she had four rounds of N7 protocol since the biopsy of the tumor showed little response. She did two rounds of strong chemo( cyclophospha and topetecan)But the bone marrow trephine was still positive.
We came to Queen Mary Hospital Hong Kong on Oct2nd,2008 for further treatment. Xinxin had 2 cycle of chemotherapy (gemcitabine and oxaliplatin) and one round of 3F8.
Her disease had spread, very rapidly, to her pancreas and everywhere.
Xinxin passed away at 3pm on Jan 10th,2009(Saturday).Her last word is that DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
We miss Xinxin a lot but we won't worry about her anymore as she is living happily in God's arms.
As her parents we want to thank God for holding our hands walking with us and for giving us such a good gift that we learned a lot from and thank all the friends who are helping us. Thank you all for being our friends.
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