There were two pictures in my brain every night when I lie on the bed. One is the picture my husband carried Xinxin in KKH with my father beside them.They were waiting me to come back from work. It was the first time in KKH before she was diagnosed with NB. Xinxin looked very pale and tired, but she was very happy to see me.
The other one is that Xinxin was sitting on the legs of an old man. It appeared one week ago when I was brushing my teeth before sleep. I tried to see how the man looked like, but I couldn't, I only remember clearly that the man is in white. I tried very hard to figure out what message it means.
Here is a nice sharing from my friend Jinyuan. Please read it and hope it helps you when you meet something frustrating. It does help me.
Have you ever observed the behaviour of birds in the face of adversity?
For days and days they make their nests, sometimes gathering materials brought from far away
And when they have completed the nest and are ready to
lay eggs, the weather, or the work of humans, or some
animal, destroys it, and it falls to the ground, all that they
have done with so much effort
Do they stop ?
Bewildered, and leave the work ?
No way. They start over building the nest again and again
until they have eggs in the nest again.
Sometimes,and very often before the chicks are are hatched, an animal, a child, or a storm destroys the nest once again, but this time with its valuable contents.
It hurts to go back to begin again… Even so, the birds do not ever stop, they continue to sing and build, and keep singing and building…..
Do you sometimes get the feeling that your life, your work, your family is not what you had dreamed. Do you sometimes want to say “enough”, the effort is not worthwhile. It is all too much for me!
Are you tired of it all? Do you feel that the daily struggle is a waste of time, your trust has been betrayed, your goals not reached just as you were about to get them?
Life strikes you down sometimes, but do you go on, say a
prayer, put your faith in hope, not darkness? Do not worry
if you get injured in the battle, that is to be expected. Gather
yourself together and rebuild your life,
so that it runs well again.
No matter what happens… Do not shrink back, but move forward. Life is a constant challenge, but it is worthwhile
to mostly accept it. And never stop singing